Are You Being Served?

Well, no actually. Unfortunately, there was no Mr Humphries or Captain Peacock to keep me entertained as i tried to acquire a social security card but i suppose i should have predicted the troubles at US Citizen & Immigration Services given the experiences i had at the various other offices and departments of redundancy which i had visited.

I am not one to generalise but staff in these departments are unfriendly, petty and authoritarian. Why can we not have mobile phones on? It is not like we are going to fall out of the sky. Self important looking people in ties and lanyards wander aimlessly saying hello to each other and security. Without a doubt there would be a coffee machine involved there somewhere too.

Waiting in a large room with phones off limits and no form of entertainment, you find yourself almost aggressively people watching. Alas, there is nothing to watch as everyone is in the same situation as you. Eyes flickering from side to side searching for movement, color or something out of the ordinary. Please! Please!! Anything out of the ordinary!

The security guards are not overly impressive. Especially when compared to the rough Pacific Islanders stationed outside of Justin Hemmes' establishments back home. These guys are smaller, not muscly and quite old. To be frank,  you wonder how much use they would be in any sort of security breach. Then you remember. Guns. These people would be trigger-trained, trigger-happy and champing at the bit to be able to brandish their second amendment rights. No, i will not be making any smart alec responses to their cold, unsympathetic statements. The only tish to follow the boom from my joke would be from the sound of my lifeless body hitting the floor.

Finally mu number flashed up on the screen. It is certainly inefficient to have such a big waiting room, beginning to fill up, and only two windows in operation. Unfortunately waiting goes hand in hand with government departments everywhere in the world. The man serving me confirmed my worries that he could not fix my issue in any way, shape or form but he did give me the name of a new department to make an appointment with. He repeatedly asked me if i was sure i was here on a work visa. He asked me enough times that i almost wanted to change my answer and say "No, i just like waiting in lines." But i am afraid he would have shot me.

This epic journey to acquire a social security number is beginning to be a bit too much for me. Perhaps if i went straight to the top of the food chain and sent an email to the POTUS, stating my case, he would rectify things and maybe even come out for a beer. "Dear Barry Obama..."

**Writer's Note: Since this blog was drafted, i visited another department which was not very friendly, but a little helpful. They gave me a private government number which i was lambasted for calling and then finally i just applied again for my number with my new entry card. And it arrived within a week. Simple as that... there you go.